Brandon,

I don't know what to think of you. At first I thought there could be interest between us, but as you withdrew further and further, I began to doubt myself. You grew cold and blank and noncommunicative without explanation. Or rather, you were at first warm and nice and caring wtihout explanation. Which of the two was just a façade, I'll never know.

I wish you could give me some sign. I wish what happened never occurred in the first place. You see, I was once in a similar situation. . . later on I found out the guy in your current position really liked my best friend and only meant to 'use' me for a night. I'm somewhat glad we never got to that stage. . .or I would be even more emotionally attached and confused than I am now.

What am I to you? A friend, an acquaintance, a romantic possibility? Or was that all just 'platonic cuddling,' as Stephanie put it? I wish you would just talk to me or send out some vibes other than your ones of cool indifference.

I asked all my friends for perspectives on you. We've determined you are shy on an intimate one- to- one level. But this revelation doesn't help my position. Some say to forget about it, forget about you. Others say that there must have been meaning behind your actions. A shy person would not do such things on whim, they say.

Why did you withdraw from me? Was it because of others' teasings? Because you found out I had a boyfriend? Indeed, I did. . . however, we have since broken up. I could no longer reason with my heart in that relationship. It was already yours.

And yet now that it is in your hands, you push me away. I called you once. We did not even make small talk before you told me you had to leave. You had to go. Did you want to talk but really had to go or was it just an excuse for you to avoid me? My friends attribute this to your shyness but I wonder if we are all deceived.

Well, the time is coming soon for me to see you again and have these questions answered. Will we act as though nothing happened? Or otherwise?